[#CoachTom Commentary] There is a concept known as ‘Antifragility’ which has intrigued me recently. It is not just about bouncing back but returning even stronger. What I am perceiving now is that stressors do not keep us down. Rather, it is the lack of recovery that strangles us. Food for thought in my next Forbes article… stay tuned!
The television is blaring…the phone is ringing…and someone has just arrived at the door. You are under stress—big-time. As a result, you may feel a loss of control. You feel overwhelmed and ill-equipped to deal with the stress you are under. What you may not realize is that it is entirely within your power to manage stress in a healthier way. You may not have control over what happens in your life—but you can control your reaction to various stressors. All it takes is a little advanced planning on your part.
Of course, a knee-jerk reaction to stress is to try to remove the stress entirely from your life. But this is not always possible and, in some cases, it may not be the best approach. Instead, you might consider limiting your contact with a certain stressor. In other words, if you’re really feeling overwhelmed, can you take a break from the action? Just a few minutes outside can help clear your head, enabling you to better handle stress in the long run. Another effective strategy is to consider delayed gratification. For instance, say you enjoy a Frappuccino in the morning, but you hate the commute to get to the coffee shop. Perhaps you can make the Frappuccino a one-day-a-week treat instead of an everyday affair.
Another habit that can make stress more difficult than it needs to be is all-or-nothing thinking. For instance, if you’re having trouble studying for a test, do you assume that you are going to fail? If you have a disagreement with your spouse, do you think that he or she will eventually leave you? If your mother is ill, do you begin worrying that she will die soon? Such disaster-oriented thinking can make a difficult situation even more trying, even more stressful. By adopting a more realistic approach to problems, you can limit your emotional reaction to stress.
Perfectionism may also be at the root of your stress. If you think that you have to be perfect in the office and at home, you can never really relax. In other words, you are putting yourself under unnecessary stress. If you begin to focus on performing tasks well rather than perfectly, you can establish more realistic expectations for your life. This new-and-improved thinking can enable you to face challenges with more confidence.
It should be said that it is not easy to control your reactions to stress. It takes a great deal of time, patience, and emotional effort. If you tend to react quickly to stress, you might have to teach yourself to slow your reactions. You will have to learn to make controlling your reactions to stress a habit. It is well worth the work involved. Otherwise, you could find yourself battling a stress-related illness. When all else fails, remember this slogan: Take a breath and take a break. While you might lose some time in the short run, you could benefit a great deal over the long haul. And your friends and family might notice a distinct change in your emotional reaction to stress.
Coach Tom is an Official Member of the Forbes Coaches Council (2022). Check out the various articles by #CoachTom on leadership, organization transformation, strategy and coaching at: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/people/thomaslim
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