[Coach Tom Commentary] Are you determined not to let your ‘Troublesome’ boss get you down? I like to think of these behaviours as being instigated by saboteurs and fiends. To identify and ‘slay’ them in the workplace, have a read at: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2021/08/30/slaying-the-three-behemoths-for-successful-organizational-transformation/
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Your boss is the head of your team and controls the quality of output produced. If you have a ‘troublesome’ boss – what can you do? How do you deal with this within the workplace context? You do not have to be a hypocrite just to please your boss. One mindset is to do what has been assigned with utmost willingness and motivation. In no time, your boss would surely learn to appreciate your efforts and skills and retain you as among his most trusted staff. That is one theory and if it works for you, then good. Otherwise, read on.
Troublesome bosses are often pessimistic thinkers. Often the person will act out unaware, sending misguiding signals. Too many people in the world today are sending these messages attempting to challenge positive thinkers. It usually causes the receiver to feel sluggish, since the negative messages bring you down. Changing how you think however can turn this problem around. Change your viewpoints. Instead of thinking negative about the troublesome sender, start sending positive signals perhaps to encourage the boss to examine their perspective and mental models.
Fighting fire with fire is only going to lead to failure in many ways. At what time you make constructive changes, the product often reflects in your personality. Your conduct just may rub off on your troublesome boss. Instead of trying to change other people’s ways, learn to change your approach. Do a reframe. Treat the challenge as a ‘game’ and celebrate small wins.
Troublesome people often make excuses. In denial, they often remain stuck. Troublesome bosses often develop an arrogant attitude. The attitude commonly leads to defensive eruptions in which too often emerge from fear. This person likely has insecurities, and/or vulnerabilities, and they will put up a brick wall to shield this awareness.
Troublesome folks often fear failure, so you can use this to your advantage. When you perceive a difficult person is being argumentative or defensive, become aware of this behaviour and silently listen without striking back. It helps to realise that this person is feeling unsure of themself. If you decide to argue back, it could lead to bigger problems. Knowing your rights can also help you deal with difficult people. For instance, you have the right to demand respect. You have the right to reclaim respect when someone disrespects you. If co-workers are abusing you mentally, physically, or verbally, you have the right to take back your respect. Do not feed your own troll and saboteur. Stay centered as best you can.
Coach Tom is an Official Member of the Forbes Coaches Council (2022). Check out the various articles by #CoachTom on leadership, organization transformation, strategy and coaching at: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/people/thomaslim
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