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Coaching Commentary #40: Navigating Emotions in Self-Mastery

Transformation is a result of consistent growth, maturity development, and persistent learning. The more we embrace knowledge, the broader our horizons become. Consistent learning not only deepens our understanding but also catalyzes our journey towards maturity and comprehensive growth.

As we continue to learn, we progressively enhance our self-mastery skills and abilities. Learning, undeniably, is the cornerstone that paves the way for heightened self-mastery. Given that our learning largely stems from observations, it becomes paramount to acknowledge the significance of observational learning. Through it, we emulate behaviors exhibited by our role models. While biological aspects do play a part in our maturation process, when viewed from a psychological perspective, learning undeniably overshadows biological maturation. Some theorists have coined OCEAN as a way to seek clarity and growth, with the acronym OCEAN symbolising: openness, to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism

This framework has its application, but we can also reflect upon these factors by superimposing the PEARLS framework. My belief is that the essence remains consistent when viewed through the lens of “Purpose, Experience, Attitude, Resilience, Learning, and Step-up” (PEARLS).

PEARLS, just like OCEAN, represents a combination of distinct yet interconnected behaviors. Some believe that the primary essence is the “individual differences” manifesting in language.

Each of us holds the power to prioritize which elements of PEARLS resonate the most with our quest for self-mastery. For instance, ‘Purpose’ might be equated to the act of visualizing goals or having a vibrant imaginative life, which is central to our very being. Similarly, ‘Experience’ is crucial as it provides the canvas upon which we learn.

Decoding PEARLS:

  1. Purpose – Akin to the “openness” in OCEAN, it signifies sincerity, honesty, and being genuine. Should one possess hesitance or reservation, they should work towards embracing their ‘Purpose’. To truly embrace one’s purpose, it’s imperative to remain aware of one’s thoughts, actions, and feelings.
  2. Experience – Just as “consciousness” pushes one towards self-awareness, gaining varied ‘Experiences’ challenges and molds one’s perspectives, enriching their self-mastery journey.
  3. Attitude – If one leans towards introversion or exhibits antisocial tendencies, refining one’s ‘Attitude’ becomes essential. Associating with positive influences and fostering sociability becomes crucial.
  4. Resilience – Aspects of neuroticism in OCEAN, like anxiety or depression, can be counteracted by building ‘Resilience’. This strengthens one’s ability to bounce back and persevere through challenges.
  5. Learning – Continuous acquisition of knowledge, understanding our surroundings, and adaptability play a pivotal role in our self-mastery journey.
  6. Step-Up – Proactively anticipating changes, driving innovations, and being a catalyst for change signifies the true essence of ‘Step-Up’.

To truly embrace self-mastery, one must holistically integrate all elements of PEARLS. It’s a synchronic dance where each component complements the other, paving the path for profound personal growth and evolution.

Coach Tom is an Official Member of the Forbes Coaches Council (2023). Check out the various articles by #CoachTom on AI+Web3, leadership, organization transformation, strategy. Connect with him and stay updated on his exciting projects at: